


Twin Troubles

by Umeko



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adventure, Babysitting, Gen, Halls of Mandos, Halls of the Dwarves, Lost Elves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umeko/pseuds/Umeko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Celegorm ends up in the Halls, he finds himself reluctantly playing guardian to a pair of lost twins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Babes in the Woods

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer- The canonic characters are the creation of Tolkien. I just borrow them.
> 
> Sorry to all readers and reviewers who liked the first version – it simply did not work out with Mornel and Dior’s twins. Hence I am going with canon and having the story set in Mandos as a stand-alone fic outside the Mornel-AU. In this fic, I am going with the version that the Feanor did not accidently burn Amrod to death at Losgar. 
> 
> Also posted on fanfiction.net. 
> 
> Rated for some language – foul-mouthed Celegorm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm dies and ends up in Mandos but decides to make a break for it before Mandos pronounces his judgement.

Dying fucking hurts. _Funny._ I should have expected it. I guess it was the adrenaline. It was only after Dior was lying dead in a pool of his own blood on his throne room floor that it occurred to me that some of that blood might be mine. Messy business, a chest wound. Curufin would have deemed it a most undignified end. I was choking on blood much like a stricken deer fighting for both life and freedom at the end of the hunt. It took a while before my fea finally yanked free of my ravaged hroa.

It was as if a red veil had been lifted from my eyes, a battle-madness which had fallen over me when no word was sent from Dior in reply to Maedhros’ demand. We had led the first charge, Moryo, Curvo and I, ignoring Nelyo’s command to hold back. I saw Moryo stumble under a lucky swing from a Sindarin club. Lost sight of Curvo shortly after.

There was an odd lightness – of course, no weighty hroa now. The battle was over. The Ambarussa were on either side of my corpse, still trying to staunch the blood which has already ceased pumping. In the snowy courtyard, a bloodstained Maedhros nonchalantly yanked arrows from Curvo’s corpse as Maglor laid Moryo on a pile of brushwood. A funeral pyre, my addled mind informed me. I was flying through the air with ever quickening speed and I was not alone. All around I sensed others – confused, angry, in pain – all headed for the legendary Halls of Mandos. 

I recalled the Light of the Trees filtering between the tall trees of Lord Orome’s woods. I recalled Irisse’s twinkling laughter as she spurred her steed past me. I remembered my mentor, Lord Orome, teaching me the secret ways of the woods. I ached at the memory of curling up content beside Huan after a day’s hunt. Those were the days of innocence long lost to me. The memories which followed these were far less pleasant.

* * *

 

Not very sure how long it took for me to actually arrive in the Halls. One moment I was flying through the frigging air watching my life flash before my eyes, the next I was landing smack on my ass on a freezing-cold floor, next to a very bewildered Curvo. _Deal with it, bro. We’re dead._ That was when I remembered that fucking Oath and oh, crap. If the Silmaril was not on Dior when I stabbed him in the throat – and if our brothers did not find it in Doriath, it was to the Void with us.

There was no way in Arda I was allowing Mandos to kick me into the Void without a fight. Not very proud to say it, but I bolted like a scared rabbit. Finrod the Honorable came shambling out from the shadows with his retinue. Someone made a grab for my cloak but I tore free of it. Hope they are feeling generous with Curvo. I was not sticking around to find out. That coup was Curufin’s idea in the first place. Don’t blame us if you chose to run about with your human friend, cousin.

After running past more elves and down more halls, I found myself in some weird forest. It was dark, shadowy and downright creepy. The gnarled trees were ancient. They seemed to be fossilized and very dead. Figures Lord Namo would have dead trees in his garden. I looked up hoping to catch a glimpse of the sky or roof but all I saw was the darkness of the canopy. As I pushed through the thick underbrush I heard whispers all around. Fear made my chest seize up and the gaping wound ached all the more. Suddenly being torn apart by Finrod’s retainers seemed the lesser evil. Soon I lost all sense of direction and time. It seemed I was wandering for an eternity. Only weariness existed.

* * *

 

“I want my nana!” a child’s voice sobbed.

“I wanna go home!” another wailed. _Elflings in the woods?_

I approached the source of the voices. There were two of them at least, and they reminded me of the time the Ambarussa ventured far out into the woods alone and got lost. I found them with Huan’s aid. They were sobbing under a tree, begging me to take them home to amme and promising never to run off alone again. Amrod had broken his ankle falling from a tree and was unable to walk. I had to carry him on my back. To keep his mind off the pain, I told them of the joys of the hunt and the woods. Afterwards, they had sought lessons from both me and Lord Orome.

I found them in a clearing and for a moment, my heart twisted at the memory of my little brothers. The Ambarussa had been of the same age as these elflings when they were lost in the woods behind Grandfather Mahtan’s house. Like the Ambarussa, they must be terrified. True enough, they clung to each other fearfully as I approached them.

Lifting my hands to show I meant no harm, I spoke softly so as not to startle them.

“It’s alright now, let’s get you to your naneth,” I lied. I did not think informing them they were in Mandos would make it easier for them. I wished Lord Namo or his Maiar would just pop up now.

The elflings were lightly-dressed in plain tunics. They were a bit grimy from the forest. Without realizing it, I knelt down and wiped the tears and dirt from their faces with my sleeve. The hair under the dirt was silvery and they were so alike they could only be brothers, no, twins.

 _Crap,_ Eru Iluvatar must be having some jest at my expense. Perhaps I should drop everything and run off before Dior shows up for his sons. But Mandos or not, I cannot leave them like this. They did not seem to have been killed in the Sack but surely this forgotten corner of Mandos’ realm was never meant for elflings.

“Hey, Mandos! Anyone? Some moron left some elflings here!” I bellowed into the trees but there was no reply. “Lord Namo, you idiot! Come get us!”

“Don’t!” one twin bleated and clapped a hand over my mouth.

“The big scary elf will come. We run and hide from him,” the other added.

 _Of course, the sight of Lord Namo would have terrified the young ones._ Grandfather Mahtan told me I had cried out in fear once as an elfling when the Vala made a rare appearance at a festival on Taniquetil. Odd, but Morgoth had seemed the lesser bogeyman back then. I recalled that after his release, there had been multitudes of elves from all walks of life eager to learn from his wisdom. Atto had stood out then for his rejection of Morgoth. In Beleriand, children had been taught to fear both. Morgoth more so. Mandos was a shadowy place from which, to the Sindar and Silvans, none may return.

“He is not that bad,” I forced a smile. “If he were, he would be here spanking me for saying bad things about him.” I wished he would indeed show up to take charge of the twins before condemning me to the Void. These two innocent ones might have indeed met their end as a result of the Sack, the one I urged Nelyo to embark on. I dared not ask.

“Does that hurt?” Two pairs of eyes goggled at my bloodied chest. Crap. I was still trying to figure out the dynamics of being in the Halls. Wounds which should be mortal are endured. I tried to picture the wound healed. I felt a weird warm feeling. There was no pain but the wound remained like an ugly sore.

“Not at all.” I sat down, giving in to exhaustion.

“We were cold and hungry but now we are not…”

“Maybe we’re still cold…” one twin snuggled close to my body for warmth. His twin swiftly copied his example. Great, I had my enemy’s sons snuggled up to me like a pair of puppies.

“I am Elurin,” one pup remembered to introduce himself.

“Elured,” the other yawned. Soon I was staring into the darkness with two sleeping elflings cuddled up to me, the same way the Ambarussa had cuddled up to Huan as elflings. We had teased them so much about it back then. I hope they are coping well enough back in Beleriand.

_Ditch the fucking brats. Their father killed you…_

_You can’t leave them alone here… You must help them find their parents…_

_And their ada will kill you again, if that is possible. They are not your little brothers. Mandos will kick your ass into the Void where no doubt Moryo and Curvo are now with Atto. Curvo will be so happy to be with Atto. Atto’s death hit him the worst._

_Oh Eru, they even have the Ambarussa’s quaint little habit of sucking each other’s thumbs as they sleep. I cannot leave them here._

No one knew how true the old tales were of Lord Namo’s realm. No one mentioned a fucking creepy forest. I never met anyone who would enlighten me as to what life or death is like in the Halls. Did orcs and other dangerous beasts wander the dark corners away from Namo’s throne? The Halls were said to be vast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picture Celegorm as being a kinder elf before the Oath. He would have been the logical big brother for the twins to look up to when hunting. On the other hand, he did just leave little bro Curufin to face Finrod and his retainers (the bunch who got chewed on by Sauron’s werewolves).


	2. A Walk in the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm and the twins explore the woods and encounter another elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids will say the darnest things.

_Just a bit more…_ and hopefully we could get our bearings in this damned wood. I tried to ignore the ominous creak underfoot. _Big mistake._  

With a loud snap, the branch I was standing on gave and I was crashing down to earth. I landed with a heavy thud flat on my back. I cussed Lord Namo and his dead trees roundly in both Quenya and Sindarin. It bloody hurt despite the fact that I was already dead. Two pairs of bright blue eyes were staring down at me. 

“You said a bad word- Mirwen will make us wash our mouths with soap if we spoke like that,” one twin blurted in horror. _Elurin perhaps?_  I could never tell them apart. 

“Are you hurt bad?” the other asked. I rubbed my back as I sat up. The pain was fading rapidly. The semblance of a hroa we wore here in the Halls are nowhere like the real thing in terms of sensation. The colours seemed more muted, the distant sounds muffled. 

“Who’s Mirwen?” I asked. The twins had been reluctant to let me climb up the trees. They claimed they sensed the trees did not give their approval. I was no wood-elf but I knew these trees were dead and hence incapable of giving their consent. As a Noldor, I had little dealings with trees even though I do read them as part of my tracking. If they were like Curvo or Moryo, they would be gloating over my less-than-dignified straits. _I told you so,_ Curvo would smirk, just like he did when I burned my hand picking up a piece of a metal alloy he had been working on in the forge. 

“She was our nurse…” Elured or Elurin sniffled. “Big mean elf hurt her with sword when we ran. She fall down and stopped moving. Then big elf tried to hurt us…” _Great, I was going to hear how one of our men, or even one of my brothers slaughtered two little ones. Strange, the notion had not bothered me so much when we marched on Doriath._

“A tall elf with red hair stopped him,” Elurin continued – or was it Elured? 

“He got only one hand,” hid twin added. _Maedhros._ I was not surprised he would interfere thus. 

“We got locked inside a cupboard and cannot get out.” 

“After the scary noises stop, two other elves came to take us out. They take us into the forest and say they will kill us if we go back…” Elured or Elurin added as he studied the bloodied and rent Feanorion star on Celegorm’s chest. “Are you going to kill us when we get back home, like the nasty elves said? They have star just like you!” 

“No, no one’s going to kill you,” I groaned inwardly. “Tell me about the nasty elves – I will punish them.” 

“One has a missing ear… and a scary scar on his cheek.” _My faithful captain Borvon._  

“The other has only three fingers on his right hand. I saw when he grab me.” 

Maegron had lost those fingers defending me from an orc scimitar in the Battle under the Stars. I hope Maedhros’ mercy extended to sparing their lives, or they would be joining us in the Halls before long. Maglor had confided in me that since the disaster of the Battle of Unnumbered Tears, our big brother has become prone to wild moods. On hindsight, I think we were all a little crazy by then, even reasonable Maglor.  

“Tall elf with red hair come to look for us but we hide,” Elurin or Elured murmured. _Sweet Eru, why did you not go with Maedhros?_ Perhaps Nelyo was threatening to throw them to the wargs like he threatened Moryo for serving dinner late at Amon Ereb. My eldest brother had the Feanorion temper too under his icy exterior.

“We scared he going to hurt us like the nasty elves… will we ever go home to nana again? We’re scared…”

“Yes, you will – I,” I bit my tongue. There was no sense swearing oaths or making impossible promises to Dior’s sons. “We will find a way out.” 

* * *

 

We trudged through the endless woods. Neither hunger nor thirst seemed to have any hold over us. When we came across a running stream, the water was inky black and we did not drink from it. There was no birdsong, only the eerie whispers which came and went like the shadow of a cloud. To pass the time I told them of Valinor, of Lord Orome my mentor, of my own amme with her rosy cheeks and red hair. I told them of my own little brothers – Moryo who had his mouth washed out with soapy water for cussing at our grandfather’s begetting day party, Curvo who accidentally sat down on some nettles and most of all, the Ambarussa.

“I wish we have little brothers too. We only have one little sister Elwing and she is only two years old.” 

I spoke of my cousin Irisse and how we used to hunt in Orome’s Woods with my little brothers. We had gone camping for weeks away from the city and poor snobbish Aunt Anaire, who deemed it unbecoming for her daughter to ride about in breeches borrowed from her older brothers. 

“Do you like her very much?” 

“Uncle Celeborn likes Aunt Galadriel very much, they always together.” 

“They lazy – they stay in bed all day. I saw them kissing in the hall, then Aunt got enough and drag Uncle into their room by his shirt.” I choked back a laugh at the image that innocent comment conjured in my mind’s eye. We had long heard of Artanis’ rather hasty marriage to a Sinda lordling. Fingon once went so far as to accuse Finrod of engineering a political alliance with Elu Thingol through his kinsman.  I hope our former ice maiden was enjoying herself – wait, if they were in Doriath, had they managed to escape the Sack?

“I hear something,” Elured, _or Elurin,_ chirped. 

“Keep quiet and stay back, Elurin,” I whisper hoarsely and grabbed hold of one twin as he tried to run ahead. My senses were on the alert. 

“I’m Elured,” the little pup pouted in annoyance at being mistaken for his twin. _That’s it, I’ll call them Elurussa until I can figure who is who._   

It was a tinny sound – that of a hammer on an anvil. It brought back memories of Atto’s forge where he had spent many long hours trying to teach me his craft. It was to no avail. I never took to smith-work. Cautiously, I crept forward through the dry brush. It was an elf, Avarin, judging by the tattoos on his bare back and arms and he was working on a sword. He glared at me. 

“Greetings,” I tried to sound as friendly as possible. “Would you know the way to Lord Namo’s throne room?” 

“Even if I do, why should I share it with you, Noldo kinslayer?” he snarled in thickly-accented Sindarin before returning to his task. With a weary shrug, I gathered the twins close and prepared to leave. 

“Hey, are you Master Eol?” one imp piped up. The Avarin elf raised an eyebrow.

“Ada told us about you – Eol the Dark Elf had a wife and could not keep her,” his twin started on a ditty about the misadventures of Eol and his household. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing especially when the boys started singing about Eol’s drunken misadventures with the Dwarves and coming home to find his wife had stormed off to her people in a huff. 

“Shut up, you little brats, I am going to teach you a lesson…” the enraged elf snatched up his hammer and advanced on the twins.

“Run!” the twins ran and I stuck my leg out a little as Eol passed, enough to trip him and send him sprawling into the muck. I pinned him down with a knee in the small of his back. 

“Now wretch, tell us how to get to Lord Namo’s throne room or out of these accursed woods,” I pressed the point of my dagger to his throat.

“You can’t kill me!” he squeaked. “We’re all dead!”

“No, but I suppose I can lop off your ears and nose and maybe your limbs… I do suppose that will really draw some attention…” I threatened in a low whisper. “Or I can stick you into your own fire to roast… so tell me.”

“I don’t know, really! I woke up in these woods and you’re the first elves I have seen since!”

“Boys, should we believe him?” I asked the wide-eyed twins. Both slowly nodded.

“We think he tells the truth.”

Reluctantly, I released my captive. I was glad to see that my dagger had left an angry gash in its wake where it had bitten into the skin of his neck. I found a pair of well-crafted daggers and leather strips in his forge to make crude belts and scabbards for the twins. These we took in exchange for his menacing the twins. Elurin named his little blade Gnat and Elured’s was named Wasp.

 _Where to now?_ We could only walk away from Eol’s angry curses, back into the damned woods. We had tied him up with some rope in case he felt inclined to pursue us with his hammer or sword. I silently prayed for Lord Namo to come find us soon. We trudged on through the forest.

* * *

 

If one has to be stuck with a sibling for an extended time, it is inevitable you will end up fighting at some point. Just ask Finrod and Tyelpe how often they had to mediate between me and Curvo. At least in our own realm we could keep out of each other’s way for weeks if need be. _Alas, poor Finrod. He really didn’t deserve the end he got… not that getting kicked out of Nargothrond was any fun._ Even the Ambarussa had their little snits at times. 

“Stop pulling my sleeve!” 

“Stop stepping on my foot!” 

“Quit shoving!” 

The twins were getting into a little shoving match. Their tinny voices were getting on my already worn thin nerves.

“Bloody break it up already!” I growled and pulled both would-be combatants apart. “One more peep from you and I’ll leave you here for the wargs!”

Two pairs of eyes stared at me, turned watery and the pair started bawling their eyes out. _Eru spare me!_ I clapped my hands over my ears.

_Crap. And folk wondered why I never settled down. Do you see me dandling wailing babies and soothing night terrors away? Perhaps I was lucky Beren made off with Luthien. I would never have made a good father._

A scrabbling sound echoed through the bushes. The twins paused mid-wail and froze. It was getting closer to where we were.

“Stand behind me!” I stood between the elflings and the ever-approaching sound, dagger in hand.

A blur of fur burst out of the withered brambles and knocked me clean off my feet and the weapon clear of my grasp.

“WUFF!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did an initial version with the trio meeting Daeron but I decided to keep to the canonic version where his fate after he goes into the East is unknown. He is not really dead so there is no reason for Daeron to show up in Mandos. 
> 
> I am not sure if Celegorm and Curufin would have been kept informed of Irisse’s demise in Gondolin by Turgon, given Turgon’s policy of isolation.


	3. Huan the Hound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm meets an old friend in Mandos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to all who guessed Huan is going to make his appearance. Here he is.

“Gerroff…” I wheezed before I was smothered by a long, slobbery tongue. It felt as if someone had swung a sledgehammer into my chest and left it there. I could feel the happy tattoo of a wagging tail against the ground. A wet nose shoved itself against my ear, nosily exhaling a breath of something feral and earthly, of gnawed bones and wet rawhide.

_Huan._

“Doggy! Doggy!” the Elurussa clapped their hands and squealed with delight when they realized that the creature did not mean to eat them. Huan shifted his bulk on my body to better examine the pair. _Move, you mangy hound!_ I flailed helplessly for breath as he was still sitting on my ribcage while the twins shyly patted his huge head and scratched behind his ears. 

Finally, my erstwhile hunting companion recalled my presence and eased his bulk off my bruised body. I do not know how that is even possible. _Why was he here?_ I never heard of animals having _fear,_ even a Hound of Orome’s.

My face had been thoroughly washed with dog-drool and I wiped it off on my sleeves in disgust. My dagger was gone, lost somewhere in the shadowy underbrush.

“You crazy hound…” I muttered as Huan sat with the goofiest doggy grin on his face. Part of me wanted to smack him for his betrayal with Luthien, another part of me wanted to hug him with relief.

“Huan, I guess we messed up with the Luthien business, didn’t we?” I muttered and stuck out my hand to him. Huan gave a loud woof of agreement and licked my hand apologetically, as he had done as a puppy after he had chewed Atto’s slippers to bits and Atto blamed me for it.

“Sorry, old friend. I should have listened to you.” Huan had not liked the business with Luthien from the start. He kept whining and pawing at the door of the chamber where we had shut her in. Had it not being for Curufin’s coaxing, perhaps I might have given Huan’s protests more heed.

True, Luthien was fair beyond compare, but face it. I doubt King Thingol would accept me as a law-son given his feelings towards the Noldor. Also, she was a bit of a witch. It would be like trying to score with ice-queen Artanis, or Moryo’s harridan of a wife back in Tirion. She did remind me a bit of Irisse with her colouring – who am I kidding? Irisse went off and married some nobody. All in line with custom about not marrying cousins. Celegorm the Fair – bachelor for eternity. That’s me.

Huan whimpered and crept forward, shuffling his nose against me.

“Hey, quit sniffing up there!” I smacked him lightly on the snout when he got too near to my crotch for comfort. It was then I noticed the twins were uncharacteristically quiet.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I-is that Huan the Hound? The one who fought the nasty werewolf?” Elured asked.

“One and the same,” I could not help feeling proud of my canine friend. News of his death had hit hard, though not as hard as his betrayal.

“H-he’s dead. He died fighting the big bad wolf, like Ada said…” Elurin wailed.

“W-we’re dead! We’ll never see Ada or Nana again!” Elured added.

“Oh shut up already! We are all dead, probably your adar and naneth too!” I know Dior was dead, though I did not see any sign of his fea.

Huan padded over to the twins and started licking the tears off their faces. The ticklish sensation soon had the pair giggling. I recalled that when the Ambarussa were young, Huan liked to tickle their bare feet with his tongue as they slept, until they awoke in a fit of giggles.

“Ada said we are not full elves! We would not get to stay in Mandos or be reborn…” Elurin moaned.

“Your adar wouldn’t even know if Lord Namo kicked him in the ass! We are somewhere in Mandos,” _I hope._ “Didn’t we just meet that nasty elf?”

“Maybe here is where all the bad elves go!” Elured hiccupped. 

“Come here,” I hugged the pair close and Huan joined us, not wanting to be left out of a group hug. “I am not leaving you until we get you back to your family, even if we are dead.” Even if Dior was not admitted to Mandos, being mortal on his father’s side, perhaps Elu Thingol would be happy to take his great-grandsons off my hands.

* * *

 

We could only continue on. Huan gladly allowed the elflings to ride on his back, the same way he had allowed the Ambarussa when they were tiny. We could make better headway without having to wait for their tiny legs to catch up. 

Brambles tore at my skin and garments as I tried to shove my way through the ever-crowding thickets. The twins’ daggers were too short to be of much use. I wished I still had my sword though Curufin would decry the way I intended to use it to hack through the thorns.

“Tell me about the big bad wolf,” I said as I tried to get my bearings. In these strange woods, Huan’s tracking skills were at a loss, just like mine. I had to distract the elflings.

“Nasty wolf came into Doriath, Melian cannot stop him…”

“He fierce, go howling and running through the woods, so grandfather and Huan had to stop him before he hurt someone…”

I have heard of the Great Hunt of the Wolf many times. It was a beautiful hunt. It was a pity that as a devotee of Lord Orome, I was unable to be a part of it. _Would I have stood up as well as the Sindar and Beren did?_

“Someone is singing,” Elurin suddenly whispered mid-way through the tale.

We froze. It was an ellon’s voice. He was no bard although he sang fair enough. Silently, I crept forward to peer through the brambles. The elf was clad in the Silvan fashion. He was perched half-way up a dead tree and seemed to be in some kind of trance.

“Watcha doing?” the twins chirped. The elf gave a yelp and tumbled out of the tree.

“You hurt?” the boys asked innocently. I could not help chuckling at the silly sight of the fallen elf tangled up in the brambles.

“You’ve seen that Adan?” he blinked dazedly. “Keep him away from me, please…”

“There are no Edain here in Mandos,” I replied.

“So I am dead eh? He got me, I guess…” the Silvan scratched his head. “Am I dressed proper? He took my clothes…”

Methinks that elf hit his head a little too hard on the way down. Otherwise he was a lunatic to start with. Huan padded over, sniffed at the elf’s foot and yawned lazily.

“Do you know the way out?” I asked. He seemed an agreeable enough ellon.

“I think it is that way…” he pointed vaguely. “Sure you did not see any Adan?” he started back up the tree.

“Thanks, I guess…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, that elf up the tree is Saeros. Let’s just say he never really got over the manner of his death, getting killed falling down a ravine naked while running away from Turin.


	4. Halls of the Dwarrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party finds the Halls only to find they are the wrong one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever wondered where the Dwarves’ fear go off to? Celegorm uses the degrading term Naugrim (Stunted people) to refer to the Dwarves out of habit.

As we progressed in the general direction pointed out to us by the lunatic elf, I noticed a subtle change in our surroundings. The thickets of petrified trees gave way to columns carved as tree trunks. I was reminded of Menegroth’s carved halls. The lichens beneath our feet gave way to tiles. It was getting warmer. Huan whined uneasily.

“Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho!”

Snatches of song reached us but they were not the fair voices of the Eldar. Instead, they were the gravelly tones of the Naugrim. There also came the rhythmic striking of metal on metal or rock. I was immediately transported to my childhood memories of Atto’s forge.

I never liked it there. It was too dark and too hot. Atto would spend hours there working over the anvil, sweat glistening on his brow and back by the light of the furnace. To my young eyes, the furnace was a terrifying beast belching fire. One of my first chores was to feed the fire. Atto often had to remind me to toss in the wood or work the bellows to keep the fire at the right temperature. I hated it.

A tiny misshapen creature ran past us, closely followed by a flying hammer and an angry shout. My atto had smacked me hard once when I neglected to heed his order to feed the fire. The piece he had been working on was quite ruined, so I understood. After that, I had refused to set foot in that forge again.

Lamps hung from the cavern roof, bathing all in their smoky light. All around, Naugrim toiled over their anvils or mined the walls for ore. The only Naugrim not involved in some form of labour were like the small creature that passed us earlier, scurrying about the cavern and avoiding ill-tempered curses and the occasional tool hurled their way.

 _Khuzdul._ Somehow I understood that those strange words were of the Naugrim’s tongue. The twins must have sensed it too for they clung onto each other. Moryo had an understanding of sorts with the Naugrim who traded with him but the rest of us had little dealings with them. Finrod was said to be a friend of the people. Given their reputation as steadfast friends, I hoped they have not heard about our part in Finrod’s demise.

I never had any desire to learn Khuzdul or of the Naugrim, thinking it below me. Finrod was said to be fluent enough to converse in Khuzdul. Most dwarves were also fluent in Sindarin or the Edain tongue. However, I always found them aloof. 

One of the Naugrim came pottering over pushing before him a barrow of turnips. I was surprised to see he wore a skirt as if he were a fishwife. He glanced over in our direction and let out a gasp. He shouted something in his tongue and immediately all the bustle and activity ground to a halt.

“Why have you come here?” an ancient dwarf came forth. His beard was long and white. “These are not your Halls…” His Sindarin was heavily accented.

“We are lost,” I tried to sound contrite and humble. We were massively outnumbered and I did not fancy our chances with those hammers and pickaxes, even if we are dead. If he could see me, Curufin would have probably sneered at me, having to stoop and scrape before a dwarf.

“You brought young ones…”

A murmur ran through the assembly of Dwarves. The twins had dismounted and Huan placed himself defensively before them. My hound never liked the Naugrim. He snapped at a petty-dwarf who got too close, sending the creature shrieking into the shadows.

“This must be Huan the elf-hound. Celegorm the Cruel, we have heard much of you,” the ancient dwarf stroked his beard. “Yet these young ones are not your kin…”

A dwarf with a fiery red beard gestured fiercely to the old dwarf. The older dwarf gestured back. The sign-language of the Naugrim. Finrod had mentioned it in passing once. The signing continued with several other dwarves joining in with the occasional word of Khuzdul. Finally, the ancient dwarf spoke.

“Enough! We cannot turn away young ones. I, Durin Dwarf-father, decreed that the children of Dior and their companions be given shelter in our halls, until such time as which it is for them to rejoin their kindred.”

His words were met with considerable protest but he held up his hand for silence. “The Seven have decided.”

“Mim no want them nasty things here! Sneaky nasty things!” a petty-dwarf squealed and was promptly booted across the floor by a dwarf standing behind him. Durin ignored the commotion and continued.

“Of course, they will be expected to pay for their food and board…”

“Will this be enough?” I slipped off my gem-studded silver arm ring. It had been a gift from Curufin back in Valinor. I would miss it. Durin only chortled.

“Save your pretty trinkets for yourself, Elf. We have little need of them here. What we want are your strong back and arms, in exchange for a place at the table and by the fire.”

I whirled round just in time to catch a pickaxe hurled my way. I winced at the thought of it punching a hole in my back had my reflexes been slower. Huan allowed himself to be laden with two baskets like a mule. The children started clamouring for their own tools but Durin only smiled.

“They are too young for such labour,” he waved to the skirt-wearing dwarf. It was then I realized that he was actually a she. We had thought of all Naugrim as male. Their females were every bit as uncomely as their menfolk.

“You come with me,” she ushered both elflings away. The Elurussa squirmed and tried to flee but she had a firm grip on both their arms.

“It’s alright!” I called after them before the trio vanished down a side cavern.

* * *

 

We were taken to a dimly-lit tunnel where I saw the dark gleam of an exposed coal seam at which a party of dwarves toiled at. I stripped to my breeches, carefully putting aside my garments and finery before setting to work. Coal was the fuel of choice for the Naugrim and Finrod had used it in his city when firewood grew scarce. Curufin claimed the heat generated from such coal furnaces were greater than the wood-fired ones in Atto’s forge.

I hacked lumps of coal from the rock face. The coal dust got everywhere, into my hair, eyes and even into my lungs. Thankfully, my wounds from the Siege had apparently healed during our trek through the forest. The thought of coal getting into my wounds was highly unpleasant. Huan stayed with me, making the trip out of the tunnel when his baskets were filled and returning as soon as they were emptied. My arms were soon aching from the effort.

“Can we help?” a tiny voice piped. I wiped sweat off my brow. _The Elurussa._ The pair held small wicker baskets full of coal lumps they had picked off the floor.  On their backs were bulging water-skins.

“Did you miss me?” I grinned. I must look a sight with my coal-blackened face and skin.

“No, we missed Huan,” Elurin grinned impishly and I laughed.

A shrill whistle sounded and as one the miners lay down their tools. It was time for supper. Strange, but I felt ravenous. Somehow in these halls, we could feel thirst, hunger and weariness. I took a water-skin from Elured to quench my parched throat. One of the miners slapped me on the back and I coughed up coal-blackened water.

“Don’t waste yer time wi’ that. There’s beer a-waiting.”

* * *

 

We washed the best we could in the icy waters of an underground spring before joining the feast. Durin was there, overseeing the distribution of beer and other victuals. Dwarves, male and female, sat at low long tables, or around beer kegs and bubbling stew pots. I would never fit at the low table with my long limbs. Moreover, I had no desire to make conversation with them, so I took my bowl of stew and a hunk of bread and sat in a corner. Huan gnawed on an ox-bone at my feet. The twins joined us with their own bowls of stew and hunks of bread.

The twins were enjoying themselves immensely. The Naugrim treated them kindly, plying them with choice sweetmeats from the table and stroking their soft tresses, which must be unlike the hair of any dwarf. When one of the petty-dwarves decided to yank Elured’s hair, he was rapidly set upon by an angry mob as soon as Elured started shrieking in pain. Elured was comforted by a large Dwarrowdam and given a clever clockwork bird to cheer him up. He now showed off the bird to Huan and his twin. I bet Curufin could have crafted a more elegant bird.

Durin hobbled over to join us. “The gifts of Mahal,” he nodded at the dining dwarves. “Straight from the gardens of his lady.” _Mahal. Aule._ A faint sliver of hope bubbled up inside me. Finrod had mentioned once that the Naugrim worshiped their Maker Mahal, also known to the Eldar as Lord Aule.

“Master Dwarf, does Mahal come to these halls?”

“Nay, he would only come when Arda is to be remade.”

“Do you know the way back to where our kindred are?”

“Nay, I only know beyond these halls is the forest – strange place, strange sights and sounds – we don’t leave here much,” Durin started to hobble away.

The twins were now sated and drowsing against me and Huan. I cannot follow the old dwarf without rousing them. I have no intention of toiling here in the mines with the Naugrim until Arda breaks. Perhaps I could leave the Elurussa and Huan here. The Naugrim seemed very taken with the pair. I have yet to see a Dwarfling here or in Beleriand. Perhaps children are a rarity for their race. The Elurussa will be well cared for.

“Oh, Master Elf, there is a place deep in our halls where one might seek answers to questions,” the old dwarf paused in mid-step. “There is risk to one so easily swayed like your kindred. However, if you are strong enough, you might look into it and find that you seek.”

“Have you looked into it?”

“Been there, done that, at the other side of the sea. Founded a Mansion…” Durin plodded off and his words trailed away. I was more exhausted than I thought. My eyelids were heavy, so very heavy… Damn this Dwarven beer…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the petty dwarves still get the short end of the stick in the afterlife. I have included Mim and Durin the Deathless in this chapter. 
> 
> I imagined the Dwarven version of the afterlife a little like the Norse version, except instead of hunting, they are working at their forges and mines but the nightly feasting and drinking party remains. Dwarves are tough by nature and very protective of their young. Hence there are few Dwarflings in the afterlife as they are given the best chances of reaching maturity with protective family and hidden underground cities. They don’t work or go abroad until they come of age.


	5. Living with Dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The elves try to adapt to life in the Halls of the Dwarrow. Twins get mischievous,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm fears they may all be turning into dwarves the longer they stay with them.

For many days we enjoyed the hospitality of the Naugrim. _Work, feast, sleep. Wake and repeat._ The twins tried their hand at mining and the forge but they were too young for such hard labour. I soon grew weary of the mining and nightly feasts. Elves were never meant for life in caves, not even the Noldor who worked the mines and the forges. In the Nargothrond healers cited the lack of sunshine and fresh air as reasons why many of the elflings born there failed to thrive. Orodreth had to send his wife and young son away to Falas.

My fea yearned for the freedom of the woods, even if it were the shadowy copses of Mandos. I would have slipped away if I could but somehow I could not seem to escape the pair. Once I fled outside into the woods but had to return to the Halls of the Dwarrow when Huan came bounding after me with the Elurussa crying on his back. Afterwards, the pair clung to me like limpets to a rock.

Soon they grew bored too. When the Ambarussa got bored, they thought up all manner of mischief. Once when a rare snowstorm kept everyone indoors for days, the household was subjected to a prank-fest. Kano had his harp strings painted with honey. Nelyo had the seat of his pants glued to his chair. I had my shampoo replaced with red dye and Moryo had bacon tied to his bootlaces before Huan was set on him. Curvo got it the worst when a bucket of glue was dumped on him, followed by a pillowcase of feathers. He looked like a badly-plucked chicken for the next week as the pair used the heavy-duty glue from Atto’s workshop.

The Elurussa did not disappoint.

Hapless dwarves found their tools missing, only to have them pop in unexpected places. Nails, nuts and bolts started showing up in boots, startling their wearers when they pulled them on for the day’s work. Of course, the petty-dwarves were blamed for it at first. Then strange things started happening in the kitchen and laundry. Coal was mixed into the laundry, turning the shirts black with soot. The turnips meant for stew showed up in the beer. It was a funny-tasting batch we ended up with.

The twins soon got careless and were caught by one of the Dwarrowdams. Durin let them off after a lecture. For a while they were on their best behavior. Boredom would set in and the pranks started anew. Miners would trip over hidden wires in the tunnels and be covered with sticky molasses, mashed turnip or whatever the twins managed to spirit away from the kitchens. Projects would mysteriously fall apart or have bits missing.

As forgiving as the Naugrim were of young ones’ antics, their patience had a limit. I reluctantly agreed to spank both rascals at dinner before seven very annoyed Dwarf-fathers. I did not hit them that hard. The pair sulked for days afterwards and I found a dried-out rat carcass in my beer stein. After Curvo’s mishap, Atto had spanked and locked the Ambarussa in the cellar for a whole day as punishment. They would have been there longer had Amme not intervened. I was greatly tempted to take a leaf from his book.

It was only a matter of time before the Elurussa be reduced to the status of the petty-dwarves and treated as vermin by the Naugrim. It would not do for princes to be treated thus. It was not as if they would get any older or wiser here. Moreover, I was beginning to feel like a Dwarf. We had picked up some smattering of Khuzdul and their sign language. They even had us singing their naughty drinking songs after the beers. Hope the twins forget the words soon. They are not fit for polite Eldar ears.

I am an Elf, not a Dwarf. I had to make a conscious effort to speak Sindarin and Quenya with Huan and the twins for fear we would all forget that. 

Finally I approached Durin for advice, recalling his talk of that deep place in their halls. Perhaps we could find our way back to the Elven halls of Mandos by looking into it.

* * *

 

“Should never have mentioned it,” Durin muttered. “It’s a dark pool some say goes deep into the bowels of Arda, where unnamed creatures created before the Sun lurk. Some say one could look into it and find answers, or death.”

“We are all dead already, Master Dwarf.”

“I speak of the Void, Master Elf. Not just death but nothingness.” My chest tightened. The words of the Oath we all swore so foolishly that fateful night taunted me.

“We will not lead you there. It is against our ways to put our guests in danger. You can try to find the way alone, but the tunnels are many and numerous. Be warned you might still be searching when Arda breaks.”

Try as I might to threaten or bribe the old dwarf, he would not relent. At such times, I wish I had Nelyo’s charm, Kano’s sliver tongue or Curvo’s cunning. Instead I was left aching after a day’s hard toil at the coal face and stew which tasted too strongly of pepper because the twins had gotten into the kitchen again. They now squabbled with each other over a toy as Huan gnawed resignedly on a piece of scrap leather. Life in the Halls of the Dwarrow was taking its toll on my canine friend too.

* * *

 

I had heard of scrying – the art of looking into the still water and opening the mind to Lord Irmo’s influences. Finrod and his sister were said to be exceptionally gifted in the art, thanks to Melian’s tutelage. Uncle Ara was said to have shown promise but he never developed the gift. I knew the basics. My brother Maglor attempted a scrying at Formenos once and failed. Perhaps he was right when he declared all he saw was darkness.

I had never attempted scrying before but I tried later that night with a small pan of water. It did not work. I stared for what could be hours until my eyes ached but there was nothing but water. Then Huan knocked the sodding lot all over me. I let loose a loud torrent of curses. The twins woke up loudly crying for their Nana. Their ruckus was greeted by curses from irate dwarves roused from their slumber. The pair’s piercing cries were enough to wake the dead, quite literally. Huan apologetically snuffled his nose against my soaked chest.

We need to find that secret pool, before Durin exiles us from the Halls like that miserable petty-dwarf Mim has been urging them to do.

I recalled that mad ride for safety with my brother wounded behind me after Himlad fell. There was also the shameful flight from Nargothrond with Celebrimbor severing all ties with us as Orodreth and his court watched on coldly. We were thankful only curses and insults were hurled our way instead of spears and stones. The uncertainty which followed us was horrible, even if we had a destination to head for. Now we know not where the Halls of Awaiting stood in the strange forest outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am drawing some inspiration from both Galadriel’s mirror of the Third Age and Mirrormere where Durin had his vision and founded Khazad-dum.


	6. The Scrying Pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm tries to seek the path to the Elven Halls but ends up in danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mim makes an offer to Celegorm he cannot refuse despite his misgivings of the petty-dwarf.

I continued in the tedium of mining while the Elurussa continued inflicting their pranks on the Naugrim. They could never settle down enough to be apprenticed, not at their tender age. I toyed with the idea of leaving the Naugrim without the twins but they would only come after me. I could not take them wandering the dark forest again without a destination. I had to find that pool somehow, but I could not afford to spend eternity wandering the tunnels.

Durin put up with my begging and badgering without batting an eyelid. I was free to leave for the forest, but by Mahal he was not going to lead me into danger. No, he would not keep the twins should they decide to come after me into the forest. The Naugrim’s reputation for stubbornness is legendary. You will sooner move a mountain than a dwarf.

“Elf wants out, Mim want Elf out… Why not Elf go?”

I dodged as a fall of loose rock tumbled down beside me. I glanced up the rock face to see the sneering face of Mim the petty-dwarf as he clung to the rock like a spider. I scowled. Of all the petty-dwarf vermin, Mim had been a thorn in the collective side of all the Hall’s occupants. I once caught him trying to steal my arm ring and thrashed him for his pains. Another time he broke Elured’s clockwork bird out of spite. Huan bit him for that. The other Naugrim often kicked or threatened him for stealing their tools and ore but that did not stop him. I sincerely believed that if I were to kill and bury him under the rock pile, no one would miss him.

“If Mim does not wish to have his face smashed in, Mim will leave Elf in peace,” I growled and waved my pickaxe at him. He only gave an ugly laugh and scrambled further up the steep rock.

“Fair elf care for little ones. Dwarrow like pretty little elves. Soft, sweet ones… so warm,” he taunted and made a lewd gesture. “Maybe share with Durin?”

My jaw dropped at what he just implied. The twins slept with me and Huan for both warmth and comfort but there was nothing of the sort suggested by the scum. With a roar I hurled the pickaxe at him but he ducked. The pickaxe bounced off the rock. A fresh fall of rock came tumbling down on top of me.

Cursing soundly, I started to dig myself out. Huan was with the twins. Durin had promised to take care of them while I worked this shift. Perhaps he had a new project he wanted to show them. Huan would protect them. I was alone in this tunnel apart from that wretched petty-dwarf and he was not going to help me. Instead, he squatted to the side laughing and making more lewd comments about the twins. That was his mistake.

I worked myself free of the fall without his notice and crept up on him. He squealed when I seized him, lifting his feet off the ground.

“Tell me why I should not wring your neck now?”

“Mim, sorry! Me just joking… Nice elf, kind elf…”

“Too late, you turd,” I gave him my best imitation of a wolf’s grin.

“Wait! Elf want seeing pool! Mim know where seeing pool is!” he squirmed desperately in my grasp. “Mim show way.”

 _Durin’s deep place within the Halls._ But could I trust Mim not to lead me off a cliff? I froze and Mim must have seen the slightest flicker of hesitation over my face.

“Mim knows. Mim lead nice Elf to pool. Mim swear by sons!” I set him down for my arms were bloody tired.

“Elf come now?” Mim asked a little too eagerly for my liking. There was a cunning glint in his eye which oddly reminded me of Curvo in council at Nargothrond. I scowled. Maybe he did want to lead me over a fucking cliff after all.

“I must get Huan.”

“No time. Mutt take care of little ones, no? Durin no touch them,” he repeated that lewd gesture again. I had never known any of the Naugrim to show more than a paternal fondness for the twins but the ways of the Naugrim are unknown to me. For all I knew, they think nothing of fucking their own sons.

Such things were whispered of in the old tales about Cuivienen. Even in Aman, there were whispers. Atto had gone ballistic once when I was very young and an older disciple of Lord Orome’s thought it would be a lark to send me a highly suggestive letter. I had been twenty then, hopelessly naïve and no wiser as to what the impetuous fellow had proposed. The twins seemed to be only six…

“Show me the way and if you lie…” I grabbed my pickaxe in one hand and my lamp in the other.

“Mim show, Mim no lie!” With a crackle, the petty-dwarf danced ahead of me.

He took me down a dark narrow tunnel which went downwards. There was a crumbling bridge of stone we had to cross and steeply cut steps in the rock. The flame of my lamp guttered fitfully. How I missed Atto’s lamps. Many times we had to turn back due to a rock fall or noxious gases pooling in the deep caverns. Often, our path took us bare inches from a fall into an abyss. If Mim thought he could shove me over the edge, he had another thing coming.

“Mim keep promise, now Elf let Mim go!” the petty-dwarf squawked.

We stepped out into a high cavern, the floor of which sloped downwards into an inky-black pool. I glanced up but the cavern walls rose into the towering darkness. Like the roof, the pool seemed immeasurably deep. I swallowed hard and approached the water. The shores were slick with slime. Mim watched like a hawk from the mouth of the tunnel we had entered by.

 _Eru, Lord Irmo, please… Lord Namo, Show me the way…_ I breathed a prayer and crouched down at the water’s edge. The water was black and still as a mirror. My face was reflected in it, ghostly pale. My hair was smeared with soot. I had gone with Mim without even bothering to retrieve my shirt. The surface shimmered.

I saw myself as a newborn elfling cradled in Amme’s arms as Atto looked on with pride. As an older elfling, I played with my elder brothers, running like the wind before them and tumbling into the fragrant grass. I was a grown elf, riding with Curvo, Moryo and dear Irisse through Lord Orome’s woods.

 _Irisse._ My heart caught at the sight of my cousin. She turned as if to face me, the smile dying on her lips. Her eyes were wide with fear.

 _Beware…_ she mouthed silently and motioned as if for me to stand back. Like a fool, I crept closer. 

That was when the creature struck.

Ropey tentacles grabbed me, burning where they touched the skin. I tried to fight back but my pickaxe was out of reach. Mim was laughing like a maniac. The creature was too strong. I could not get free. I screamed once before I was dragged under the dark waters.

 _It’s not just death… It’s nothingness…_ This was it. _The Void._

I saw the Halls of Awaiting through the forest. The path was lit by Feanorion lamps. Before that was a marshland threaded by a creek before we reach the pier where the path of lamps started. Before the marsh was a fleeting glimpse of pale flower meadows across a bridge through the woods. The trail led from the Halls of the Dwarrow. I had seen the path but alas it was too late… 

My limbs burned, my lungs ached. My head throbbed. Red and black filled my vision. _Blood and darkness, a fitting end for a Kinslayer._

I espied two bright specks of light above, and a larger but paler blur. _Don’t give up! Fight it! You must fight!_ A child’s voice, no, two young voices so in sync they sounded like one. I kicked hard, trying to squirm free of my certain death. The tentacles loosened enough for me to kick free and break the surface.

Immediately I was confronted with a chaotic rush of sound and light. Huan growled, leapt and bit at the swinging tentacles. One clasped about my ankle as I pulled myself ashore but Elurin sank his little dagger into it. It relinquished its prize and swung out blindly at Elurin. Elured leapt into the fray, slicing the tip of the tentacle off before it retreated into the water. My arms and chest looked as if the skin had been burned with acid. I felt sick and vomited as Huan dragged me clear of the water by my hair. 

Dwarves swinging axes and shields shouted battle cries in Khuzdul as they rained blows and arrows on the beast. Some dwarves wielded firebrands against the beast. I could not help noticing the Elurussa were glowing, far more brightly than a normal elf would. The tentacles seemed to shy from the pair and their blades. _Maia. Of course, they are part Maia…_

The creature was wary of the sharp blades and arrows of the Naugrim. Still, it tried to seize and drag its tormentors to their doom. The Elurussa were like little blots of light as they scrambled about, aiding any of the Naugrim grabbed by the beast with their daggers.

“Huan, go help them,” I groaned and Huan dashed off towards the twins.

The creature screamed in pain under the unrelenting onslaught but it did not retreat. Durin now gave the order to pull back. We could not keep this up forever. A lit firebrand landed next to me and I seized it.

Most of the dwarves have gotten out of the creature’s reach but a handful were trapped on a ledge of rock. To my horror, Huan and the Elurussa were trapped on another ledge above the water near the dwarves. The creature rose from pool, exposing its gaping maw, glistening with an oily sheen. A large yellow eye glared from above that terrible mouth. I grabbed my pickaxe and the brand.

“Eat this, you fucking shit!” I ran down to the waterline and hurled the pickaxe into the eye point-first. It pierced the eyeball. Enraged, the creature lunged blindly towards me. I dodged the swinging tentacles. When it was close enough, I thrust the lit firebrand into its maw.

The beast shrieked in agony and sank into the depths from which it had emerged. I waded out into the water as the last ripples faded and swam out as the bottom fell away. I reached the first of the ledges where the dwarves were stranded. The Elurussa’s perch was too high above the water for me to haul my battered body onto and I could swim no more. I climbed onto the ledge with the help of the dwarves.

There had once been a natural rock bridge linking the ledge to the shore but the monster’s thrashing had shattered it. The five dwarves grumbled as they considered their options.  The Naugrim were not known to swim and their heavy armour would drag them down. A makeshift bridge would have to be built, or a raft to ferry them to safety before the beast returned.

The Elurussa and Huan were in a similar predicament on their ledge. The wounds left on me had turned an angry purple and were throbbing like the blazes. I could not bear the thought of re-entering the water a second time. I saw the Elurussa staring into the dark waters, their faces blank.

 _One might find answers by looking…_ My heart sank. I knew.

In silence, the elflings clambered on Huan’s back. The elf-hound leapt into the water and paddled for shore. The Naugrim on shore rigged a crude raft for our rescue. By twos and threes we were ferried to safety.

As soon as I set foot on shore, two figures came at me and struck me in the midriff. I was knocked onto my back and the blows came hard and fast, as hard as elflings could muster with their tiny fists.

“You killed Ada!”

Two dwarves lifted the pair kicking and screaming off me. I remained staring at the darkness above as Durin enquired how I was feeling. It hurt. It hurt far more than I ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are definitely going to get messy for the elves. The twins definitely saw something in the pool they did not like at all and Celegorm is going to have some real heartache.


	7. Parting of Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After recovering from his wounds, Celegorm parts company with Huan and the twins.

I burned with fever for days afterwards. It was worse than any orc-poison I had encountered in Beleriand.  In my delirium I had many strange visions. I saw the path to Mandos twist and turn like a serpent under my feet. I saw faces of those I knew were dead, and those I left in Aman and Beleriand. I saw my amme’s tear-streaked face as she ran after us, begging us to stay. Amme never cried that night. I watched Atto burn to ash again by my bedside. Then it was Nelyo, broken after the torments of Angband. He burned too. I saw Kano wandering half-mad along a grey shore, his harp forgotten.

Others came too into my dreams. Pale Finrod came with his accusing glare, his lips dark with blood and gore. His loyal retainers would try to rip me limb from limb where I lay. Irisse came crawling up from under the sheets. She would smile and stroke my cheek tenderly, before turning into Luthien and clamping her fingers about my throat.

Sometimes I was aware of a Dwarrowdam tending to me, slathering a cooling balm over the festering wounds and cleaning them with cool water. She spooned a thin broth between my lips to keep me hydrated. Durin came a few times to inquire on my condition. Through a haze, I thought Mim came with his dark threats and evil looks. He sat on my chest like a lead weight with a dagger in hand. Then it all shifted and it was one of the Elurussa, and he was cutting out my heart. I screamed as he tossed it over to a waiting Huan, who wolfed it down like a juicy steak. 

* * *

 

It seemed many days before I was myself again and many more before I could sit up unaided and feed myself. My torso and arms were streaked with ugly scars. The deeper ones still leaked pus but Durin declared the worst was over.

“The Elu…” I croaked weakly.

“The young ones are doing fine. They are with Huan,” Durin smiled.

“K-keep that scumbag Mim away from them…”

“Mim is gone. He confessed to luring you to the pool. He has been exiled from our halls and his sons have gone with him.”

“W-were a-any lost?” I asked with a sourness in the pit of my stomach. I had led troops into battle in Beleriand and lost many along the way to Mandos.

“Nay, set your mind at ease. There were a few injuries but nothing a Dwarf cannot bounce back from. Mahal made us hardy. You’re the last one to heal…” Durin chuckled.

“Oh, gee, thanks…” I could not help feeling a little affronted. Elves were resilient too. The only reason I was laid up so long was because I was fool enough to let myself get grabbed and nearly drowned by that beast.

The Elurussa know I killed their adar. They hate me. I felt a heavy emptiness in my being. Perhaps my fever-Elurussa did cut out my heart. It ached.

I dressed the best I could. I had lost my shirt and the one provided by the Dwarrowdam was too baggy in the trunk and the sleeves too short.  It smelled funny too, like a mouldy potato-sack. I had also lost my arm ring from Curvo, left somewhere in the tunnels with the rest of my jewelry. I would not be too surprised if the wretched petty-dwarves took the lot. My breeches and boots had been cleaned and patched. I combed out my hair and left the sickroom. The halls were buzzing like a beehive and I went unnoticed. I was too weak for mining still. I plodded over to our little sleeping nook to rest. Huan lifted his head to give a soft bark of welcome.

Two pairs of eyes glared at me over Huan’s back. I paused.

“Elurin, Elured… I am sorry I…”

“Go away! You are a bad elf,” the pair replied. “We’re not listening to you anymore!” With a heavy heart, I turned to leave. Huan rose to his feet and came after me, whining and licking my hand.

“Go back to them, Huan. They need you more,” I scratched behind his ears. “Huan, if they ever wish to find the Elven Halls, you will bring them right?” I described the way as I saw it in the pool the best I could to Huan. _He’s a smart dog, my Huan._ He could lead them there.  If the twins decide to stay with Durin, so be it. As soon as I am healed enough, I am going to find my brothers in the Halls of Awaiting, or the Void.

I spent the rest of the day in a corner, keeping out of everyone’s way and feeling utterly miserable. The twins and Huan left me alone during supper. It was Durin who brought me a bowl of stew and urged me to join them about the fire. He sat me next to the Elurussa and they both kicked me in the shins before going off to bed. The normal jolliness of the Naugrim was subdued that night. There were no drinking songs or games played. Perhaps they sensed the Elurussa’s simmering anger and the tension between us.  

They were right to be mad at me. Why had we attacked Doriath? It was for a Silmaril. A gleaming jewel with the Light of the Trees in it. Its sisters still sat on Morgoth’s crown. Was it the Oath? We had been so willing to spill the blood of our kin, both in Alqualonde and Doriath. Somewhere we had crossed the line, Nienna help us. We became almost as bloodthirsty as Morgoth’s minions. _Celegorm the Cruel._ Now looking back, I could only feel disgust at my deeds in Doriath and Nargothrond.

* * *

 

“Leave the Halls? But you have not fully regained your strength,” Durin raised a shaggy eyebrow. It is a poor way to repay Durin’s kindness but I cannot stay on. Not with the twins glaring daggers at me across the cavern.

“I miss my brothers and wish to seek them,” I uttered a half-truth. Even wandering about the forest for eternity would be preferable.

“Very well, you may leave,” Durin conceded. “But take care of yourself.”

He had them prepare some victuals and gear for me. My legs were still shaky from the recent fever and I needed a sturdy walking stick to aid me. A pack was filled with hard-tack, dried meat and a wine-skin. A warm travelling cloak was provided. I suspect it was made from the skin of a goat as it reeked like one.

I bade a quiet farewell to my fellow miners, Durin and the gruff Dwarrowdam who had cared for me during my illness. I never really caught her name. I did not know if the twins would seek out the Halls of Awaiting or linger with the Naugrim until Arda breaks. Perhaps they might settle enough to pick up smith-work or some lighter craft from their hosts.

The pack on my back was heavy, but nowhere as heavy as my heart. My legs felt wobbly and I leaned often on my staff. The going was slow. The pillars soon gave way to trees and the sounds of industry faded into silence. Once more I was alone in the dark forest with only my memories and regrets for company. Now I had to find the trail to the bridge…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of foreshadowing in Celegorm’s fever-dreams. Mim and sons will return to plague the elves. 
> 
> Don't worry too much, the twins will have to return to the Elven Halls of Mandos eventually. That would be where their Nana and Ada would be.


	8. A Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mim and sons learn the hard way you do not mess with elflings or elf-hounds when Celegorm is about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some violence ahead proving Celegorm lives up to his reputation.

_Another dead end. Another gloomy glade without a bridge in sight._ I was so certain I had taken the right fork in the path. Once more I doubled back. Perhaps the way to the Halls of Awaiting was not as straightforward as I had initially thought. The surrounding trees closed in on me almost menacingly. Hefting the pack on my shoulders, I plodded on. It has been hours, perhaps days or weeks since I left the Naugrim but I did not feel hunger or thirst. I stopped often to rest my weary feet.

_I missed Huan’s company. And I missed them._

There was no wet nose and tongue to comfort me. There were no childish questions and antics to distract me from the monotony of the silent woods.

The path seemed closed to me. It twisted and turned all round in circles until I was hopelessly lost. I encountered that lunatic elf once. He was singing up a tree, naked. His garments were strewn about the base of the tree. He kept babbling about his clothes being stolen and refused to be coaxed down from his high perch. I had to leave him behind.

“Please stop! No!” _The Elurussa?_ I started. A shrill scream of pain rent the still air.

The boys were in trouble. I threw aside my pack. It was slowing me down too much. More screams rent the air and I followed them. I slid and slipped over some loose pebbles down a steep slope. Near the bottom, I tripped over something which whimpered weakly.

“Oh Huan…” It was my friend. He licked my face as I kneeled down. He was pinned under a large rock slab. _A dead-fall trap, skillfully set and camouflaged._ We had used such traps in Aman and Beleriand to catch small game. Poor Huan must have blundered into it. More screaming filled the air. I cursed and used my staff to try levering the rock off Huan. I could not leave him there. He might have broken his ribs, back or legs…

Finally after much straining, I managed to move the rock a fraction of an inch, it was just enough for Huan to crawl free using his front paws. He whimpered as he dragged his back legs free. His legs might be crushed but I had no time to see to him. I let the rock fall back.

“It hurts!” A shrill scream echoed through the trees.  I only had my staff and a Dwarven dagger. I hastened towards the cries.

 _Burning._ I smelled smoke and something more sinister. _A fire._ I saw a glow through the brambles. In a clearing, a fire burned. On a rock beside the fire glinted my missing jewelry and the twins’ daggers atop a pile of clothing. Three petty-dwarves stood around a tree trunk. Tied to the tree were the Elurussa.

“Tell us where Ellf keep jewels and we let you go,” Mim hissed and the glowing end of a stick to the soles of Elured’s bare feet. The sickly smell of burning flesh filled the air as the elfling screamed in pain. He repeated the same with Elurin.

“We don’t have any!” Elurin screamed. One of the other petty-dwarves hit him across the face.

“Y-you p-promised to help Huan,” Elured sobbed through his pain. The pair’s garments were torn and bloodied. Tufts of their silver-blond hair had been yanked out. They were so small and trusting. The petty-dwarves could easily have overpowered them.

I growled. Feral rage filled my veins. _The wretches will pay dearly for this._ Roasted petty-dwarf sounded appealing, and not as dinner. Had I been at full strength I would have charged them headlong. I was still feeling the effects of the wounds from the pool. Instead, I decided on stealth and cunning.

There was a muddy patch nearby and I streaked my hair and face in the stuff, just as I had learnt from Lord Orome for stalking prey on foot. I stripped myself of the baggy Dwarf-shirt and streaked my chest too, wincing as the mud touched the still-healing wounds. Dagger in hand, I crawled to the edge of the clearing and mimicked the cry of an injured deer.

That got their attention. Mim growled something to one of his companions. The petty-dwarf shambled away from the fire and towards me. I waited until he is deep in the shadows before striking out with my dagger. I wanted to crack in his skull but the dagger-hilt just bounced off it. _Fucking Naugrim._

He gave a grunt of surprise. I acted to stop him from crying for help, shoving him face-first into the ground and ramming my blade into his back twice, piercing the lungs. _He’s dead already so I guess I did not technically kill him, right?_ For good measure, I sliced the tendons in his feet as he lay gasping for air. They might be stunted, but the Naugrim, even petty-dwarves, were all muscle.

Just in time I slipped back into the shadows as the second petty-dwarf came seeking his brother. As he bent over his fallen kin, I sneaked up behind him, grabbed him by the hair and slit his throat down to the spine. I left him gurgling atop his brother with his tendons similarly slashed. _Now for Mim._

Sensing something amiss, Mim was shouting for his sons but they were in no state to reply. I stepped out of the shadows, bloody knife in hand.

“Hello again, scum,” I spat.

Mim gave a squeal of fright and dropped the burning stick he had been torturing the Elurussa with. He reached for the Elurussa’s daggers but I was quicker. I leapt between him and the weapons and lashed out, ripping through coarse fabric, flesh, and bone. Dwarvish blades were sharp. Rolling on the ground, Mim clasped his torn side to keep his innards from falling out. Blood pounding in my head, I kicked him into the fire, grinding him into the red-hot embers with my boot. The smell of roasted dwarf filled the air as he squirmed and cursed.

Finally, the heat got too much for me and I lifted my lightly-singed boot off the captive. Blackened and charred, the wretch crawled clear of the fire. I was not done with him yet. Ignoring his pleas, I stomped on his brunt legs until I hear the satisfying crunch of bone breaking.

Only then did I return my attention to the Elurussa and cut them free.

“Ada, you came back!” Half-blinded by tears, the pair embraced me. I guess with my fair hair blackened by mud, they might have mistaken me for Dior.

“I am not your adar,” I swallowed. It was so good to see them again. Sobbing and whimpering from his burns, Mim was trying to crawl away on his arms and shattered legs. I took the stock of the petty-dwarves’ cache. I retrieved my jewels and my shirt with the Feanorian star they were wrapped up in. _Thieving petty-dwarves._ I returned the daggers to the twins and went back for my pack.

I had no medicine but the water-skin provided some relief for the twins’ burns. I tore up my linen shirt and used it to bind their feet. Carrying both under my arms I returned to Huan, pausing to give Mim a kick. Huan was lying on his side, wagging his tail in greeting.

“Oh, Huan…” I gingerly felt his ribs and hips. They were broken.  His back legs have been broken in several places. He would not be able to walk, much less carry the twins.

“Let us…” the twins pleaded. They crawled over to Huan and placed their tiny hands on the elf-hound. The twins seemed to be glowing again. Huan’s legs twitched and he let out a surprised bark. _Part Maia._ _The twins were healing Huan’s injuries!_ Slowly, Huan staggered to his paws.

Suddenly both elflings swooned as if the effort had been too much. I checked them over. Their eyes were closed, their breathing light but steady enough. Their pulses were strong. They would be alright. Huan nosed Elurin and whimpered.

“You take one, I will take one,” I shrugged. We would have to leave the pack and victuals from Durin, not that we needed them in the woods of Mandos. I draped Elurin over Huan’s back and tied him in place. I took Elured on my back. The path seemed to open up before us as we left the maimed petty-dwarves behind. It was not long before we were crossing the bridge and standing in a beautiful meadow.

Here we stopped to rest. I untied Elurin from Huan’s back. There was a clear-flowing stream I could use to clean the elflings’ burns in. The pair was starting to stir. Huan yawned and plopped down on the soft grass.   

I undid the bindings and checked the burns. There were still raw blisters on the soles of their feet. I wonder why they could not heal themselves with their Maia power but I guess they were just too young to understand how to use their abilities. There were some plants in the meadow I recognized as being good for soothing pain. I ground them up and applied the paste to both their burnt soles and the raw spots on their scalps where the hair had been torn out. I mussed their hair a bit to hide the bald spots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The twins Elured and Elurin have Maia blood from Melian and they should be have some abilities which even they are not that aware of.


	9. Farewell, Huan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huan leaves the company. The elves move ever closer to their destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huan leaves the party. Celegorm and twins continue.

As I treated their wounds, the twins prattled on, completing each other’s words the same way the Ambarussa did.

“We wanted to look for Ada…”

“Durin told us elves go to the Halls of Awaiting… “

“He don’t know where…”

“Huan say he know and take us there…”

 _Huan?_  I turned to raise a quizzical eyebrow at my hound. Huan only yawned lazily and flopped onto his side. Huan had never spoken to me in all our time together.

“How does he sound like? He never spoke to me before. Does he sound like this?” I mischievously raised the pitch of my voice so that I sounded like a bird.

“No, no!” The twins giggled. Huan cocked his ear. I mimicked the high-pitched chirping of a chipmunk and had the twins guffawing. Huan let out at annoyed huff. He rolled over and smacked one paw between my shoulders, forcing my face into the grass.

“He has deep voice, like Durin,” Elurin volunteered. “Durin wanted us to bring food but Huan says he cannot carry everything. We leave food behind.”

“We not hungry now…” Elured added. He toyed with one of the pale wispy flowers which covered the meadow.

A lassitude came over us and we slept. When I awoke, I checked the twins’ feet again. The blisters were healing but they would not be able to stand for long without some pain. Huan chewed on my braids as I cut up my goat-skin cape to make crude booties for them. The petty-dwarves had taken away their boots when they were captured. There were fibers from the grasses and thorns which I fashioned into thread and needles to stitch the pieces together. I had learnt that from Moryo, who was surprisingly resourceful when it came to needlework. Once he had managed to stitch Cousin Finno and Nelyo into their bed rolls as they slept using their fishing line and hooks. We had a good laugh at the sight of the hapless pair wriggling about like fat caterpillars the next morning.

Elurin and Elured amused themselves making flower chains and draping them on Huan’s head only to have him shake them off. It was so peaceful a scene. We could have stayed there forever in this restful oasis, lounging and napping in turn.

* * *

 

“What is it, Huan?” I asked. Huan had lifted his head off his paws and had his ears cocked as if listening for something. He barked and wagged his tail. Then I heard it – Lord Orome’s hunting horn. I cried out in relief. Huan leapt to his feet and danced about us like a puppy.

I tried to rise but the strength had gone from my legs. _Not yet, Tyelkormo._ I heard my Valar mentor’s voice in my mind and wept. _Your task is not yet finished._ I glanced at the twins, who were just waking up, roused by the hunting horn.

Huan whined, paused and glanced back at us. He hesitated as another blast from the horn shattered the quiet.

“Go to him, Huan,” I fought to keep my voice steady and wiped my tears away. “Lord Orome is waiting.”

Huan padded over and placed a gentle paw on my chest instead. He licked my face. I hugged him.

“Go, Huan. I will take care of the little ones, I promise… Until we meet again, outside…”

 _“Till we meet again, Tyelkormo…”_ Huan spoke. He sounded a bit like Grandfather Finwe, or Atto before his obsession with the Silmarilli – dignified, kindly, wise and above all else, reassuring.

He tuned and bounded off though the flowers. We caught a pale glimpse of Lord Orome astride his steed through the mist. Huan gave a loud bark of sheer joy and leapt into the mist. Then they were gone - the mist, Lord Orome and Huan. Only the flowers remained.

“Where Huan go?” Elured asked as he stifled a yawn.

“Who that big elf on horse?” Elurin asked as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.

“That is Lord Orome, Lord of the Hunt. Huan has gone to him,” I replied.

“Will he treat Huan well?” the twins asked as one.

“Yes, definitely. He will take Huan hunting in his Woods…” The weakness had left us and we stood up, ready to continue our journey to the Halls of Awaiting. I described the beauty of Lord Orome’s Woods and his magnificent lodge where the hunters gathered by Telperion’s light to feast and celebrate the forest’s bounty.

“Can we go visit Huan someday?” Elurin asked.

 “Of course, I think Lord Orome will love to meet you…” _When you are reborn into Aman._ I do not know if I would ever see Huan again.

“Will you come with us too?” Elured added.

“I’d love to,” I smiled. _What I would give to be able to return to those days of carefree bliss under Lord Orome’s tutelage._

* * *

 

I checked the twins’ feet once more. The skin was almost done healing. They could walk easily without too much discomfort now. Even the bald patches on their scalps were starting to show a light, silvery fuzz. My own wounds had healed into an ugly patchwork of dark scars. The meadow beneath our feet was turning muddy. We were entering the marshes and I can hear the faint gurgling of water. We were near a creek, the next stage of our journey. The flowers and grass gave way to tall reeds and brooding willows.

Pushing through reeds, we came to the creek. Bobbing on its surface was a flimsy-looking boat. A pale Feanorion lamp glowed on its bow. Wading out, I carried and placed each of the twins in the craft in turn before pushing it off the muddy bank. The elflings helped me into the boat as the slow current caught it.

Water sloshed at the bottom of the boat. There was a tin mug there which I handed to the twins for bailing out the fetid liquid. I stood in the stern and took hold of the rudder. The creek was sluggish and there were numerous muddy banks and tussocks we had to avoid running into.

The hair on the back of my hair stood on end as I heard a soft murmuring. The twins were oblivious to it at first. They splashed water at each other when they grew tired of the monotony of bailing. More than once I had to catch a twin by the collar to save him from falling over the side into the inky water.

My unease grew as the murmurs grew in volume and started forming into words. A grey fog was closing in on us. The twins ceased their games and cowered in the bottom of the boat, whimpering uneasily.

 _Kinslayer…_ The tendrils of fog hissed and tugged at my hair and clothes. A stray willow branch caught my cheek and gashed it. I gripped the pole until my knuckles went white and peered into the fog. I could not turn back or risk running aground. I sat down to avoid the low branches. Instinctively, the twins crawled towards me.

“No, stay put,” I warned. Our weight could sink the boat if concentrated all in the stern.

“Go to the bow and look out into the fog. Warn me of any trees or rocks,” I instructed. Thankfully, the pair obeyed. I was blind now in the thick fog. All I could make out were the pale glimmer of the lamp in the bow and the hunched figures of the twins. Indistinct shapes swirled about us, phantoms of friend and foe alike.

Ghostly orc-like swirls gripped and tore at our craft, snarling in deathly silence. Fingolfin’s likeness formed in the fog to my right while his eldest appeared on my left, both battered and bloodied. They melted away and reformed as Dior and Beren, both clad in armour as if for war.

 _Not real,_ I repeated to myself. They were gone. Next, Finrod’s pale face floated before me before turning into a wolf-like being with bared fangs. _Traitor._ Drool or blood dripped wetly down… _Not real…_

“Tree, turn left!” Elured’s voice piped eerily from the gloom. The wolf vanished into the fog. I steered the boat accordingly, feeling the scraping of the boat as it passed too close to some slimy rock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huan has returned to Orome. The elves are approaching the Elven Halls now, but their trials are not quite over yet.


	10. Elflings Overboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The elves approach the end of their journey and have a mishap on the creek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm has to rescue the twins again.

Suddenly there was a scream and a splash. I knew that one of the twins had fallen overboard. _Crap._

The fog was as thick I could barely see more than an arm’s length before me. I tied down the rudder to keep the boat from swerving. I scrambled towards the bow guided by touch just in time to hear a second splash. Now both twins were in the water.

“Elured! Elurin!” I yelled into the sea of fog. It clung onto the surface of the water, forming eerie shapes and shadows, any of which could be a struggling elfling. I unhooked the bow-lantern and held it over the side, trying to spot them.

“Help!” I heard a weak cry. It sounded too far away. _No, it is the fog. Fog muffles sound._

“Keep calling!” I shouted in the general direction of the cry. The boat was still being pulled along by the slow current. Surely I could not have drifted that far away. I replaced the Feanorian lamp. There was no way I could swim with it and rescue the boys. I pulled the heavy dwarf-shirt off and kicked off the boots. They would drag an elf to the creek-bed in a heartbeat.

 _Rope._ There was long coil of rope under the gunwale. It felt slimy and rotten but I prayed it would hold. I tied one end to the boat’s prow and the other around my waist. Taking a deep breath, I lowered myself into the fog and water and started kicking. The water was deep here, deep enough to swim. I struck out in the direction of the cries.

I found Elured first, splashing and bobbing, trying to tread water while clinging to a floating mess of rotting reeds. I tried to calm him down but he was in hysterics. Thankfully, the fog was lifting.

“Rin went under!” he bawled and pointed at a clear spot of water some yards away. I could spy small bubbles breaking the surface. _Crap._ I dove into the inky black water. Beneath, the surface, it was pitch black.

I felt only weeds as I groped about. I could not feel the bottom beneath my feet. Running out of breath, I surfaced for a quick gulp of air before diving again. Elurin had to be somewhere close. The current here was slow. He could not have been washed far from where he had disappeared.

On the second dive, I forgot about the tethering rope. My leg got entangled in it and I wasted precious seconds untangling myself.  Something bumped into me on the third dive. Immediately I thought of the fearsome water-lizards of the south we had heard tales of from the Edain. Beasts that would sooner rip a man limb from limb than look him in the eye. I bit down to keep from screaming and kicked away.

No, it was not scaly like the legendary water-lizard but soft. I grabbed it before it could float out of reach. I felt soft hair between my fingers. _Elurin._

Tucking him under my arm, I kicked for the surface. We popped up a few yards from Elured. I took hold of the rope around my waist. It was still attached to the boat downstream. I called to Elured to grab the rope and swim back to the boat with the aid of his makeshift float.

I half-swam back to the boat as Elured pulled us in with the rope which had defied all predictions and held. I untied myself once in the boat. Sitting down, I placed Elurin’s chin over my shoulder and thumped his back. He gave a cough which spewed a flood of fetid creek water down my back before letting loose a beautiful wail. We were all soaking wet and reeking of the creek.

The creek widened before us. The current was taking us along at a steady pace now and the danger of mud banks and rocks seemed distant. A cold wind blew and the twins started shivering. Exposure was a risk I was acquainted with in my travels. Even an elf could easily fall prey to the cold and exhaustion.

There was no place or means to start a fire here and the Feanorian lamp gave off no heat. The little ones were shivering so hard their teeth chattered. I needed to get them out of their sodden stuff. Ignoring their half-hearted protests, I ripped their sodden shirts off their backs. I draped them over the gunwale and hoped they would dry.

“Come here,” I shuffled to the centre of the boat and picked up my dwarven shirt, draping it over their shoulders the best I could. It was not quite enough to warm them. I hugged them close. I did not understand how we could be feeling the cold so keenly now but keeping warm was vital if we were to reach Mandos before freezing… _wait, can one freeze to death if one is dead?_

I rested my chin on their damp curls and drifted off to into reverie.

* * *

 

“Nana!” Elurin’s voice roused me into wakefulness. The boat was approaching a pier just like the one in my vision. I untangled my frozen limbs from around the twins and clambered over to the rudder. I realized we were no longer bare-chested but wearing simple white smocks. The clothes we took from the Dwarven Halls were gone. The boat had been transformed too. No longer was it the battered craft we found but a Telerin swan-boat, both gleaming and graceful.

I picked out figures on the pier. One was an elleth clad in a grey gown. The other two were definitely Maiar of Lord Namo’s. They scowled at me menacingly as boat glided ever closer to the pier. One held chains in his hand. I swallowed hard.

The elflings leapt onto the pier and into their naneth’s arms as soon as one of the Maiar pulled the boat in for mooring. The Maia hauled me roughly out of the craft and clapped the manacles onto my wrists and neck.

“Celegorm Feanorion, Lord Namo has been waiting for you,” the other one declared. “You have been a very bad elf. Now come with us to face his judgment.”

I heard a soft gasp behind me. I turned to see Nimloth pulling her sons behind her protectively. Two pairs of eyes peered at me in bewilderment. A tug on my chain almost sent me sprawling flat on my face.

“He’s not all bad. He is kind to us!” Elured piped up.

“He save us from mean dwarves,” Elurin added.

“Stop them hurting us…”

“And he save us from river, when we fall in.”

The Maia holding my chain raised a questioning brow. “Lord Namo will take your deeds as reported by the sons of Dior into consideration. Be mindful that your deeds in life weigh heavy against you.”

“I accept Mandos’ judgment,” I replied softly and lowered my head. This was it. _Our paths part here. The Elurussa will go with their Nana and Ada to the Elven Halls where they would rest and await their rebirth into Aman. Me? Lord Namo probably has some dungeon waiting even if he is not tossing me into the Void._

Silently, we climbed the steps up to the Halls by the cold light of the Feanorian lamps. With my hands bound together and a grumpy Maia tugging on my chain, I stumbled often on the uneven steps. The Elurussa would dart forward to offer a hand to steady me lest I tumble over the side into the abyss.

Finally we reached the end of the steps and a great gate which the Maiar opened with some password. We were ushered by more Maiar down a hallway which opened into Lord Namo’s throne room. Mandos was sitting on his throne, a pale hand beating out an impatient tattoo on the armrest.

“Greetings, Tyelkormo, Elured and Elurin. We have been waiting for you a long while. Now I shall pass my judgment on you…” his voice boomed. The very air seemed to shiver around us at his words. The Elurussa gave a squeak of fear and pressed their small faces into their Nana’s skirts. The shadows and swirling air around us started to take on semi-solid forms.

“We hear you, my Lord. Could you please lower your voice a bit so as not to alarm the elflings?” I could not resist making a snipe and giving a crooked smile. I heard the thwack of a palm hitting a forehead.

 _“Kormo, you fricking idiot,”_ I heard Moryo hiss. _“One does not sass back to a Vala.”_ I glanced to where the voice came from. Moryo was there standing beside Curvo. The Ambarussa were also there. Clearly some time must have passed outside the Halls, for the pair seemed wearier and battle-worn. One was sporting a raw gash down his cheek. I was not sure who. Some arms’ length away stood our Arafinwion cousins, Finrod and his brothers. Fingon and Uncle Fingolfin were standing nearest to Mandos’ throne as if they were his heralds.

Lord Namo raised an inky brow before breaking into a smile. “Very well, Tyelkormo,” his words still echoed about the cavernous room but they were not as harsh as before. “Elured and Elurin, you may leave with your mother for the chamber prepared for you. There you will sleep and rest. Any questions?”

“Where’s Ada?” Elured asked innocently.

“Will we get to see Huan again?” his twin added. The Vala chuckled.

“Your sire is resting in private for some time now, pondering a choice offered by Eru Iluvatar to both him and you. Your mother will bring you to see him and let him explain the choice to you. The decision you make will answer the second question,” the Vala explained. “Now, I will pass judgment on Turkafinwe Tyelkormo of the House of Feanaro.” An ominous hush fell over the assembly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last. 
> 
> I toyed with having Mandos and the Maiar using Sindarin, the lingua franca of Elu Thingol’s court, as I doubt the Elurussa would have been taught Quenya. At the same time, I think they would have referred to Celegorm by his Quenya name. 
> 
> As to the choice offered to Dior and his sons, it is the same one which will be offered to Elwing, her husband and their offspring.


	11. Journey's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celegorm awaits Mandos’ judgment.

“Tyelkormo, you have slain your Elven kindred in Alqualonde and Doriath with impunity. You partook in an attempted coup against your kinsman Findarato, who had offered your people refuge in your time of need – an act of betrayal which indirectly brought about his demise. In addition, you have acted in defiance of all Eldar mores by kidnapping Luthien, daughter of Elu Thingol, with the aim of forcing her to wed you. Have you anything to say in your defence?” 

“None, my Lord,” I replied. I could have argued I was following the Oath but there was never any merit to that Oath we should never have sworn to start with. “My Lord, may I humbly seek your permission to apologize to my cousin for our betrayal before you pronounce your sentence?” The Vala nodded sombrely. I turned to face Finrod, who had stepped forward the crowd of watching elves. 

“Cousin, I am sorry for my actions and those of my brother against you,” I said. Finrod kept his face expressionless. 

“Findarato, do you grant the accused your forgiveness?” the Doomsman boomed. 

“Aye, my Lord,” my cousin replied with a small smile. “I forgive him and hold no grudge against him and his brother. May I beseech the Valar to show them mercy?” _Good, noble Finrod, how we had so wronged him and yet he had forgiven us without hesitation._

“Tyelkormo, in light of your actions in protecting and caring for the grandsons of Luthien and their speaking in your defence, it will be recorded that you have atoned for your crimes against their grandparents, both of whom have passed beyond the Circles of Arda,” Lord Namo declared. A murmur ran through the crowd and two whoops of joy issued forth from the Elurussa. 

“However, the sin of kinslaying still weighs against you despite your struggles against the Dark One. Hear my sentence! Turkafinwe Tyelkormo will be held within the Halls, until he has atoned for the sins of the Kinslayings. He shall not be freed into Aman until at least two Ages have passed!” Lord Namo announced. 

 _Two Ages of not seeing the trees, feeling the wind and sun… but at least it was not the Void._ I wept with both sorrow and relief. Moryo and Curvo were beside me. The other elves were starting to file away down the myriad hallways leading from the throne room.

“We will see you again someday,” the Elurussa waved farewell before they were lost among the surge of fear. _I wish that were true._

* * *

 

“Did you hear? Grandfather said Finrod is out in Valinor! All thanks to his noble action in that stupid Quest!” Curufin fumed as he punched his pillow. He was in a sore mood after having been caught in the hallway by some vengeful Sindar fea and thrashed. We tried to keep to our cell as it was too easy to run into fear from the Kinslayings outside. We were the Feanorions and Kinslayers after all, far more than any other elf. Sometimes it was still worth the possibility of being beaten to visit our grandfather. Atto was shut away in the lower levels of the Halls and he was not very communicative the only time I visited with the Ambarussa. Only Curufin still risked the long trip to Atto’s cell. Irisse’s fea had been taken into Lady Nienna’s special care, so Fingon informed me. She was in no state to receive visitors, not even her family. 

 _The Elurussa?_ I dared not ask where they were. I did not deserve to intrude on their healing with their parents. _Who knows? Dior might not be feeling friendly._ I did not wish to cause them any trouble. 

“Good for him. Probably deserved it,” I gave a token reply when I realized Curufin was expecting me to agree with him. I dodged the pillow aimed for my head. It bounced off the wall harmlessly. The Sons of Feanor were given our own large cell and I was grateful for the company of my younger brothers. There was even space for two more cots, should our remaining brothers drift into Mandos. I hoped it would never come to that. 

“You gotta quit visiting Grandfather that often. Or have you something for being beaten up?” Moryo muttered from where he was working on a tapestry depicting the Woods of Orome. To pass the time, my brother had sought out Lady Vaire and her maidens to hone his skills in needlework. Moryo always had an affinity with the fabric arts. 

“I am going stir-crazy stuck here…” Curufin wailed. “Three Ages! It’s forever!” There was no forge or workshop for Curufin to show off his skills in. Mandos had no need for such things. All he could do was sit and reflect on his past deeds. Of course, I could suggest a visit to Durin’s but I doubt Curufin would like hanging about the Naugrim. He had scoffed when I related how I had mined coal for the Naugrim in their Halls.   

“You have it easy, Atto’s got until Arda breaks,” Telvo stated matter-of-factly. “Checkmate.” A groan from Pityo followed. The Ambarussa had found a chess set and were playing against each other, much to my relief. The twins had to be watched constantly to stop them from pulling pranks on the others. Chess would keep them out of trouble for a while.

“Curvo, I will wait those Ages with you,” I said soothingly and hugged my weeping brother. We did not have the leisure to purview the events of Beleriand as they unfolded through Lady Vaire’s tapestries. All we had were snippets of information from Grandfather or the Maiar who checked in on us occasionally. I knew Curvo was fretting about his son Tyelpe despite his declarations of disowning his son for daring to repudiate our deeds and the Oath his father had sworn to.

* * *

 

Maedhros came into Mandos but he was put into Lady Nienna’s care without even meeting with us. The First Age had ended and one by one the Exiles were allowed release into Aman. The Ages crept along. Among my brothers, Moryo was the first to be offered re-embodiment. He took it for the sake of Amme. We asked him to tell Amme we were sorry we had followed Atto in swearing that Oath and leaving her behind alone. Telvo and Pityo were next. 

“You don’t have to wait for me, you know…” Curvo told me one day (or night). Time has no meaning in the Halls. I had been offered the chance to return to Aman but had declined for the sake of my younger brother and his poor son, whose tormented fea resided in Lady Nienna’s care. The Halls were emptier now. I could wander the halls admiring the tapestries without being attacked. Grandfather would stay until Arda breaks or Atto was released. Grandfather told us the Eldar had left Arda. Only a handful remained on the Hither Shores, waiting to fade. The time of the Elves in Arda had passed. _No more dead elves, isn’t that nice?_  

“But how will you fare alone here? Maedhros is still healing and who knows where Maglor is?” 

“I do not need babysitters, you know,” my brother pouted. “I still have Grandfather and Atto… Aegnor is still mooning about somewhere. Could have gotten out in the Second Age if he wanted. It is rather peaceful…” He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. “I hear Irisse has been healed and released. She is probably riding through Orome’s woods now. I know someone would like to join her there…” 

“But…” 

“Go on, you dolt,” my brother retorted. “I know stone walls smother you. Go hug your trees, kiss Huan or something. I think I will wait out the rest of eternity with Atto. Or I might decide to join you lot outside when I am done with my sentence. It’s almost up, I think.”

* * *

 

I awoke in Lorien. Amme was there waiting for me. Moryo too. It was as tearful reunion. I was told the Ambarussa had gone to Lord Orome’s to celebrate my return with a hunt.  

I wasted as little time as possible making my way to Lord Orome’s Woods. My new legs were still weak. After being solely a fea for so long, I had almost forgotten how to use the limbs of a hroa. I was panting and leaning heavily upon my staff by the time I reached the border of the Woods. I could hear a hunting horn being blown. I leapt out of the way as a stag all but flew over me.

A hunting party thundered past. There were six of them, three sets of twins… The leading rider reined in his horse and motioned for the others to stop. He had a mane of flowing red-copper hair and laughing eyes. _Pityo._ I broke into a smile, just before a whirlwind of fur and muscle smacked into my back and knocked me flat on my face. 

“Gerroff me, mangy mutt,” I spat grass and mud from my mouth. Huan only licked my head and left my hair all messed up. When he had enough licking, he got off me. The riders dismounted and the raven-haired twins helped me to my feet. They seemed familiar but I did not recognize them at all. Perhaps they were the descendants of someone I knew. In Sindarin, they inquired if I was hurt. I shook my head. The Ambarussa beamed and greeted me warmly with back-slaps as our elf-hound danced circles around us barking with joy.   

Finally, I turned my attention to the last pair of twins, the fair-haired pair. I had known them as children but they had long grown into maturity. The pair had grown into handsome elves, with their father’s fine features and their mother’s silver-pale hair. They wore the green and brown garments of hunters but their cloak-pins were of diamond and mithril. They held themselves with the poise of the princes they are. After all, they are the sons of Dior the Fair, grandson and heir of Elu Thingol. 

“Elured, Elurin,” I breathed. Words failed me, so choked up with emotion I was. The pair each hugged me in turn. 

“Welcome back to Aman, Celegorm.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are wondering, the raven-haired twins are Elladan and Elrohir, the sons of Elrond. This is the end of this fic. Hoped you enjoyed it.


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